I live in a DEAD zone for my art and its ability to flourish, in any kind of enlightening way, even though I approach every day like I need to learn something new about the conditions of man and his plight, as a being that has a light within him, and just wants to create heat and fire in his purpose and intent, and, free will, that will be working that day. Free will seems like a joke the man upstairs played on the world, free will sounds like some kind of freedom, a chance to find a crack in your box to see out and while your face is grasping for light and air, you are not moving fast enough, so I go back to an image I have had in my life, all of my life, The great Sam Bekett in his world shaking Avant guard masterpiece, WAITING FOR GODOT, when he wrote, THE LIVE BABY is pulled from the mother womb with forceps and then delivered to his GRAVE. Today I watched a video of ANN BOGART, she accurately explains that throughout time the greatest and loudest art was created in a time of great upheaval, that is the spark, for a real artist because that spark is for him, is a call to action, a call to service, a call to his soul, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS UP AND CREATE! the world needs you, humanity is falling down on our heads and YOU FUCKING JUST SIT! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! and FUCK YOU! again!
I look at her little face and little nose and little ears and little mouth and GIANT eyes, I see all of creation, all history, all war, all famine, all the blood spilling into the cracks on the road, every little human that had to start by being raped by a monkey mind, punched in the head, slapped like the lights went out, made to feel like a nothing, but then I remember her little face, little ears, little mouth and big EYES. HER eyes are knowledge, awareness, acceptance and true NORTH, so I think she is going to make it!
